The Naked Girl at the Slumber Party

My 3rd child, Reed, was 9 on January 15th.  As you know, the 3rd child position is a tough spot.  In our family, he followed the first child, the first boy, and lost his spot as "baby" just before he turned 3.  On the positive side, he lives with his best friend and brother, Brooks.  He is a talented musician (he prefers percussion to piano but is great at both), and he is a math whiz!  And, as the third, he flies under the radar most of the time.

Reed decided to have his first slumber party to celebrate his 9th birthday.  We invited a few friends for an evening of rock climbing and Wii playing - hoping for a few winks, too.  Unfortunately, we couldn't coordinate the climbing, so we resorted to the stand alone slumber party.  Once the parents had been gone about 15 minutes, I realized that the boys were not quite as calm and quiet as those who had come to our 10 year old slumber party.  No, these boys were rarin' to go - down to the basement, outside in the mud and cold, upstairs to the playroom, back through the kitchen and so on.  I was bracing myself for a sleepless night filled with rowdy 9 year olds.  All of a sudden, the house was quiet.  No movement, no yelling, no slamming doors, no balls bouncing.  Nothing.  

My kitchen is just below Reed's room - and next to the bonus room.  I heard nothing.  Those boys had disappeared.  I headed up the stairs.  Silence at a slumber party can never be good, unless it is about 4:30 in the morning.  Sure enough, Reed's door was locked.  The boys were in the closet.  I decided to listen from the bonus room to see what was really going on.  They were having a pow wow - revealing the names of the girls who were "hot".  That just cracks me up.  What exactly qualifies a girl as "hot" at the age of 9?   I know it's not the typical breast size, gorgeous long hair, dance moves - at 9?  I guess it is based on their smile and athleticism at recess??  I still haven't figured it out.  Well, except for the 10th grader who was mentioned by one boy.  I am sure she meets the earlier discussed typical "hot" requirements.

I felt rather confident that no harm was going to come to the 6 boys in the closet, so I headed back down to my brownies.  My mistake.  Just after the "hot" discussion, they became quite interested in the Guinness Book of World Records 2008.  As I was walking by to check on them again (that is a full time job), I heard one boy say to another.  "Do you want to see the naked girl on page ____"?  That stopped me cold.  What on earth were they looking at, and where did they find it?  I was responsible for these boys and they were gazing at naked girls.  Oh. My.  Well, it turns out, this 2008 edition has just a few eye popping attractions.  Yes, there is a person who can pop their eye the farthest - 11 mm.  Who knew?  Then, in Australia, there is a guy who can pop the most bras - his son came up with the grand idea - and you too can see this pun-filled variety show on youtube.  As for the naked girl?  Well, I don't have the exact copy (one of the guests brought it to the party), but they were gazing at something.  Something naked.

A few boys slept.  A few boys didn't.  I heard nothing.  Reed was a zombie the next day.  I finally asked (after hearing reports that they had only gotten 30 minutes of sleep) what kept them busy all night.  My little 9 year old - with quite a bit of coaxing - admitted they stayed up most of the night talking.  About what?  After much hemming and hawing, he added,  "we weren't sleepy 'cause we were talking about HOT girls.. and we were looking at the 2008 Guinness Book of World Records".  Hmmmm.  Wonder what they were looking at??

I am going to have to recalibrate my radar.